Let me first say that I too have seen the books with heroes of this type. This is a whole new breed of…well, I can’t call them heroes, after all I don’t find these traits remotely heroic. And yes, I worry about what we’re teaching our young women when so many writers and Hollywood producers DO call these men heroes. But, that’s an altogether different blog post because alpha heroes, true alpha heroes, do not have these personality traits.
Why do these incorrect definitions of alpha heroes upset me so much? Simple, I write alpha heroes. What is an alpha hero, you ask?
An alpha hero is strong, tough, protective, stubborn and extremely complicated. He is not abusive – verbally or otherwise – and never purposely humiliates a woman. An alpha hero is either born alpha, or becomes alpha through environment or upbringing. Believe it or not a beta male raised in a get-tough-or-die environment can become alpha. He is going to learn to fight, to hide his feelings, and in extreme situations, learn not to feel.
The biggest mistake that people make about alpha males is that they are insensitive, when in fact, usually the opposite is true. He has just learned to bury his weaknesses – yes, to an alpha, sensitivity and feelings are weakness – deep down inside. But here’s what I love most about true alpha heroes…once he gives in to his feelings and accepts that he is in love, he loves completely and without restraint.
So please, the next time you read a book, watch a movie or even read a blog post about domineering, stalkerish, verbally abusive men who are being called alpha heroes remember… These men are not alpha heroes, and in my book they aren’t heroic at all.